The Me in Mommy

by Rachel Mickelson

I cherish the days when I had a newborn at home — the all night feedings, no sleep, three hour naps, running with a stroller, cooking with a baby strapped to my back or in a car seat on the counter, carrying the baby all day long — I loved it all.

But being a mother can be very overwhelming, because there is so much demand on YOU. Dad can help, but most of the time when a baby is fussing it will be mommy doing the midnight walks, feedings, and diaper changes. Fairly soon after my son was born, I remember thinking: Where is Rachel? What is Rachel about? Who is that woman in the mirror with huge bags under her eyes?

At the time, my coping mechanism was (and still is) to return to running. I set a goal for myself to complete a 3.2 mile race within six weeks of giving birth. Thankfully I had been walking on the treadmill for my entire pregnancy, so I was able to run within two weeks of my son’s birth. There were other times when I would set him up in his car seat in the hallway, grab a jump rope and some hand weights, and do as much as I could before he started fussing again. If I was lucky, I got 20-30 minutes of exercise intensity daily. At twelve weeks, I went back to work and found my time was even more limited. This is when I decided to train for my third marathon…

Think I’m crazy? I found I needed something that was my own — separate from being a mother, wife, teacher, chef, laundress, etc. — something that was just about ME.

My training consisted of three runs a week for a total of ten weeks, the minimum amount of training to complete a marathon. This was not a training schedule to earn a PR, but having the goal to run a marathon was motivating enough. Those runs were like heaven to me. This was the only time I was by myself doing something for myself. It was my girlfriend time, my exercise time, my mental health time, and I found that I was a better, more patient mom when planning, training for and completing this marathon. This is why I continue to try new things and schedule different goals; because it’s all about me. It’s the one time I can be selfish. I can give back so much more when I’ve had a workout.

There has to be a ME in mommy.

Now that my children are older, I have found new ways to challenge myself and keep fit. Last Fall I completed my fourth marathon with a fairly strict, comprehensive training program. All the runs were scheduled at six in the morning, and I incorporated strength work throughout the day as my children were playing outside.

The following are my tips and ideas for how to juggle staying fit and being a mom.

SCHEDULE AND PROTECT YOUR TIME. If at all possible, schedule yourself ‘at the gym’ or ‘in the garage’ or ‘out for a run’ before anything else gets on your calendar. I have a habit of working out at six in the morning before anyone else is awake. I get it done, then on to the rest of my day. This is mandatory and non-negotiable. Do not let anyone or anything get in the way of YOUR time. It’s yours, use it. And, I’m not below utilizing the TV if somebody is awake before I’m done. If you’re a night owl,  you need to schedule your exercise. Period. Turn over responsibilities to daddy so you can get your time. I feel really strongly that making time to exercise is not an ‘EXTRA.’ Do not sugar coat it. You will be a happier individual if you take this time for yourself.

What should you do to make the most of your time?

INCORPORATE STRENGTH TRAINING. Weight training for women is the NUMBER ONE way to reduce body fat. A kettlebell, medicine ball, jump rope and a stability ball are mandatory in my home gym. It’s hard to believe, but with just two kettlebells and consistent work three times a week, I have already decreased the size of my quads by half an inch. They are muscular but I am getting leaner! There more I do it, the more I am a HUGE believer in gaining muscle. Weight training for women will lean you down- not bulk you up! A consistent weight training program could very easily help you drop two dress sizes in a matter of a few months.

MAKE IT FUN! Adding the kettlebell to my strength training workout has added a huge dynamic to my program – the fun factor! It really is fun to swing that bell around, and challenging too. In addition, it can be both a cardiovascular and a strength training workout. I challenge myself daily in my workouts and I love the excitement of a new exercise, a new program, a new trail to run, or a bike ride with a friend. There is NO mundane monotony to any of my workouts. They are fun and I love to do them. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t do it.

HAVE A PLAN. This is a must. There are thousands of plans available now and I’ve read a number of them. It doesn’t matter what plan, as long as you have one. This makes you accountable to something and also gives you the opportunity to let someone else be the ‘know-it-all.’ I used to carry my strength training book to the gym, prop it open and do whatever it said. Going to the gym without a plan is like going to the grocery store without a list. Your time is limited, and you need to make the most of it.

BE QUICK. As a mom, I know how valuable your time is. A good fitness program doesn’t have to take hours to complete. Walking on a treadmill is not going to be the best use of your time. Intervals have been shown to produce more results in losing body fat than steady state cardiovascular work. When I am short on time, the jump rope is queen. Three minutes of jumping between each of the following is a great high intensity, calorie burning activity: Leg lunges, squats, side squats, one arm push-ups, the list is endless. Just make the most of your time!

BE SOCIAL. Finally, I suggest finding a workout buddy. I found my two best buddies by introducing myself. Having buddy workouts on your calendar for a Sunday night is a huge motivator to get and stay fit the rest of the week. My workout buddies are faster than me, both on the bike and in running, so I use those days as my ‘hard days.’  I love working out with them because they are like-minded individuals and we share common interests, so there is always a lot to talk about.

Bottom line, exercise is what makes me ME. I love being a mom and would cut off my right hand for my kids, but there is always a ME in mommy.

RACHEL MICKELSON is the mother of two crazy boys, a physical education teacher, a wife, and an athlete attempting to remain fit, healthy and sane through it all. Her blog FitnessForMommies.net offers authentic testimony and information related to juggling life as a mother and an athlete.