Share Your Light: How to Build Confidence
We caught up with the beauty & brains behind the lifestyle blog Om And the City, who shared some must-read tips on how to build confidence.
Lucille Ball once said, “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
To this day, it remains one of my favorite quotes – and her words couldn’t be more spot on.
As we all know, loving yourself isn’t always easy. Thinking back on my teenage years, I was hormonal, insecure, awkward, and a bit shy – classic growing pains. I couldn’t hide my emotions if I tried (still can’t), and I was pretty sensitive (still am). In high school someone pointed out, “You’re too sensitive.” I took it as well as any sensitive person would. If I could go back in time, I would tell that person – YES, I know I’m sensitive. But, that does not make me weak.
Sensitivity should be embraced, not condemned. Being ‘sensitive’ or ‘emotional’ is not a fault. The goal is to find a way to harness your inner-connectedness and turn your sensitivity into empathy, understanding and acceptance for yourself and others.
How to Really, Truly Build Confidence
Confidence flips on and off like a switch. It is quite simply a mentality, and if you begin thinking of confidence as something you can literally turn on, you can convince yourself you are capable of absolutely anything. This is real talk of real experiences that have personally helped me, and will hopefully help you too.
1] Be the Boss // Self-Acceptance
Part of self-acceptance is accepting where you are in that moment. Understand there is far more to a person than their exterior. Before ‘pretty’, strive to be kind, generous, intelligent, quirky, and inspiring. It’s all about working from the inside out to truly know your self-worth.
Tip: Start loving yourself in your natural state. Forget about looking in the mirror too often or constantly powdering your face and reapplying your lipstick. You are beautiful just. as. you. are.
2] Stand Tall // Body Language
If anyone has seen the Ted Talk with Amy Cuddy on body language, you’ll know what I mean by Power Posing. Basically, if we stand in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident, our hormones change and we will feel more powerful. So, stand up tall, smile, and make eye contact!
Tip: Practice yoga. Yoga deeply focuses on alignment, and this will help you obtain better posture, as well as improved balance, flexibility, and strength. All in all, yoga is a very healing practice that really makes us appreciate all that our bodies are capable of.
3] Speak Up // Spread the Love
Acknowledge the inner and outer beauty in others, and tell them what you admire! If everyone were to share their kind thoughts aloud, we’d all feel so much more uplifted each and every day. Surround yourself with a supportive group of empowering individuals, and eliminate negative triggers in your life. Life’s too short to spend it with unpleasant people.
Tip: It’s great to be independent, but you don’t need to carry all of the weight yourself. Lean on your friends and let them lean back on you. It all comes back to Athleta’s powerful movement – Power of She: “Alone we are strong, together we thrive.” Support, love, cheer and empower one another!
…And Don’t Look Back
There are times when I realize how often I’ve set myself back due to lack of confidence. That’s going to happen, but don’t be so hard on yourself. We’re only human. Embrace yourself in all of its forms – when you’re feeling like a hot + sweaty ticking time ball of emotions, and when you’re feeling like a hella calm and cool, bossy babe. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the happier you will be. Why? Because you’ll stress LESS. You’ll worry LESS. You’ll relax more and you’ll love more – fully, deeply, unapologetically. And you will cheer people on in their successes knowing full well their success will never, ever take away from your own.