by Erika McDaniel
I teach English at the local high school. I was in Enterprise High School on March 1st of 2007 when an F4 tornado hit it. We lost eight beautiful children that day, three of whom I coached and taught. I can’t explain what that day was like. The things I saw: despair, hurt, fear, sorrow… loss. I walked out of the building a survivor of something I had never imagined. Looking back on that day, I don’t think I ever will be the same, but it made me stronger.
Two weeks after the tragedy, my husband asked me for a divorce because I didn’t want to have children. I moved out of the house and stayed with a friend. Not only did I not have a home, but I also didn’t have a school. That was a tough year for me.
The next few months I buried myself in running. I think I ran myself to death. In August of 2008, I re-met a man that I had known all of my life. Not too long after that I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, he wasn’t thrilled about that, so I was left with going through pregnancy, birth, and ultimately raising my daughter on my own. I ate myself through my pregnancy and reached a staggering 220 pounds. I am 5’6″ — 220 was a little difficult to pull off.
I know I am not the only person who has suffered loss or the wonders of single motherdom, but I hope the next person out there who does go through something similar will know that there are no excuses. A person with determination and dedication can do anything.
So this leaves me with where I am going. I don’t know yet, but it can only get better from here!
Thanks for sharing your story! You are very strong! Keep on running!!
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Keep up the good work …. soon enough you’ll have your daughter running with you !
Definitely it is not too late …. for a fresh start !!! And you did it …. from now on it will get better!
I love running too
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Your story is so moving. I admire you, single moms, you have such strength! Thanks for sharing your story.
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Praying for you for strength — I cannot imagine how hard it must be to raise a child alone — and will be thinking about you when I run tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning
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So impressed and motivated by your story. I got up to the 224 mark after my second pregnancy and still fighting everyday with my weight and my second child is 4! Would love to be 155! Keep up the good work and hugs!
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“…there are no excuses. A person with determination and dedication can do anything.”
You’ve said it perfectly! There are no quick fixes. You are awesome, Erika! Hang in there and keep going. I just finished my first Olympic-distance triathlon at age 42 – proof positive!
Aloha, Dianna
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You have an amazing story, and you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing! Your daughter is beautiful, too. Congratulations on your journey.
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I took up running last year at the age of 50. as part of my “bucket list”. My goal was to run a race, any race, and to finish. I trained for almost a year, and a few weeks before my first 8K, I seriously injured both knees and was sidelined for months. Depressed that I could not check one thing off my bucket list, I enrolled in college, and started training again, but this time I decided to run BAREFOOT. I took things very slow, trained four times a week, and listened to my aging body. I entered the same 8K I missed the year before and FINISHED, wearing Vibram fivefingers minimalist shoes! The following week I ran a 5K in fairly good time, and just recently I completed another 5K. I run slow, but I am not last, and most importantly,I FINISHED! Plus, I checked something off my bucket list. Future plans? My new goal is to compete and complete a half marathon sometime this year!
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Erika, it’s so true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You’re living proof of that. I don’t see any extra pounds in the pictures — you’re beautiful! Your daughter is equally beautiful, and you’re setting a perfect example by taking care of and believing in yourself. Thanks for sharing your story.
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Hi Erika,
Thank you for sharing your story and journey. It is very heartfelt and inspiring. I do believe that what we are faced with makes us stronger. You have a beautiful girl whom I’m sure brings out the very best in you every moment, every day.
May your life be blessed with continuous joy, happiness, peace and love. Your determination and dedication says it all! I’m so glad you are a runner. Being physical, getting out there and moving is what it’s all about. Taking care of ourselves by being active (along with proper nutrition) is the key to staying well.
May all your dreams come true and more!
With love to you and your daughter,
~Catherine
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Erika~Your story was very inspiring. I suffer from depression also and I know when I have to get out on the trail to run or bike, or do some dancing in my bedroom! Keep running an staying strong.
All the best to you and yours,
Jean
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Wow! Very inspiring! I haven’t run in awhile but I’m dedicating my run tonight to you! How you can feel the Chi!
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What a journey – you are amazing.
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Wow! Your story caught my attention with the tornado. I also am a teacher and cant imagine what you went through! You are AMAZING! Keep moving and keep grooving! I pushed my daughter in a jogging stroller until she was 6 and way to tall to close the shade canopy. It makes for strong arms. Thinking about you as I head out and hope you are doing well!
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I can identify with your story- (not the baby part, I’m still praying for Mr. Right), but the heartache part. The man that I had been dating for 2 1/2 years (who I thought was Mr. Right) walked out in Dec of 2009. A few weeks later my Mom died. I lost the 2 people in my life that truly felt like home to me.
It’s taken me a long time to work through it. I wish I could say I’m healed. I can say I’m still working on it.
In the meantime I have a friend who runs 5 and 10K’s. He started encouraging me to run to help with the sorrow I was feeling. That got me started working out again.
Today, I can say I am grateful. I am grateful I have a body that works and is strong and I’m learning how to heal with God’s presence in my life. I work out regularly which includes running. I may not run 5K’s but what I do helps me keep my stress down and gives me a clear head ( the prayer and mediation help too).
Thank You for reminding me I am not alone, ever.
Sheryl
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Hi there Sheryl!
Please know you ARE never alone, really. We’re all in the same boat so-to-speak in working with issues that arise periodically along the journey of life itself. I’m so sorry to hear of your losses. May lots of healing be around you and in your heart through something wonderfully spiritual.
Life, love and working out is a lifelong process whereby we must learn to enjoy the journey rather than the outcome. I hope that makes sense over where you are currently in your life. You are certainly on your way. I think there’s lots of meaningful ‘inner’ value in actively staying present in the moment each and every day. Being present in the moment starts with the awareness of feeling exactly where you are with the gratefulness you carry. Being grateful every day helps the healing process happen. It has for me.
Running as you are is a wonderful way to be in touch with yourself. Keep going strong!! Please stay in touch letting us all know how you are doing, okay?
Take care with many blessings,
~Catherine
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Erika,
I just got done reading your article. I am so proud you get to share your story with everyone. I know this means a lot to you! Most importantly, I want you to know that I am proud of you! Proud that you are an amazing mother, an amazing friend, a wonderful teacher, a lovable daughter, and a hard worker. I know how hard you have worked to become fit and healthy and I am so happy that you have had the courage and determination not to give up! I know that without a doubt you will loose these last few pounds! I love you and am happy you are still going strong!
Your best friend, Jonathan
P.S. Remember the bet about the True Religions… it’s still on
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Keep going, Erika! Working out has kept me going through divorce, custody battles, an abusive relationship and I am stronger for it. I am a single mother of 3 sons. I have peace which is worth everything! God Bless!
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So much of the inspiration I received from your story, Erika, is that you were willing to tell it. Hard stuff is easier sometimes not to bring up- but then we share, and find out we are not alone. What freedom, what reminder that we don’t walk this road alone.
Despite the betrayal and loss of those closest to you, you are walking onward. A word from the writer Anne Lamott on dealing with rage and grief that has been powerful for me this last year.
“Since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion [that everything is fine] won’t hold up forever, and if you are lucky and brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion. You begin to cry and writhe and yell and then to keep on crying; and then, finally, grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.”-Anne Lamott
I bet you could write a book on the revelations concerning your recent experiences.
Another inspiring quote from Eric Jung, following a loss: “It cost me a great deal to regain my footing. Now I am free to become who I truly am.”
You are brave, and an inspiration to me. Thankyou.
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Amazing and moving story. Congratulations. The best thing your daughter can see is how well you take care of yourself and how much fitness has become a part of your life. You’ve improved her future without even realizing it!
Keep running. Keep laughing. Keep loving.
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Erika – Thanks so much for your inspiration! You are beautiful inside and out, I wish you the best of luck.
Also, thanks to all who commented. Amazing how the strength of others strengthens ourselves.
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I want to thank all of you who have responded and everyone else who has read. I was on the website the other night reading all of these wonderful stories and just started writing my own. I have never spoken to anyone about the tornado. That was the worst part of my story for me. I declined interviews after it and I guess I never let myself heal. Several times when I am running and think I can’t make one more mile, I think of those students we lost that day in the school to the tornado. I keep running for them. Maybe I think it will bring them back. I am not sure.
Listening to you all has really helped me. Every word each of you has written has unexceptional value. Thank you all for taking the time to help me heal and push me onward. I wish you all much happiness and love for your kind thoughts and words.
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Thanks so much for writing about your story. I am on my way riding my bike for 18 miles and running 3 miles. I am grateful for people like you. You are real and that shows you have done so much. You are amazing. Keep it up. God bless you and your daughter.
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You are strength and beauty personified! You have handled difficult situations with grace and dignity. There is nothing like excercise (running, biking, swimming, pilates, etc) to help clear your head, find inner strength, confidence….and those endorphins don’t hurt either lol! Stay strong and be the amazing role model you have been for your daughter. Good things will come your way.
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I think that you are a very strong person to have made it through the tough times you have endured. As someone who is an advocate for responsible family planning, however, I am curious about your decision to have a baby in the midst of all your personal turmoil. To be married and not want children, then to be a single mom within the span of a year is a 180 degree flip. In a country whose teen pregnancy rates are rising and single parent households are becoming the norm (I know you are not a teen, but you are a responsible and productive adult member of our society), I worry that your story may not only inspire women to overcome their difficulties, but also inspire them to make poor family planning choices. I am sorry if anything I have said troubles you, but I had to ask. Why the decision to be a single parent, as opposed to raising a child with a partner to help you?
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Dear Megan,
I am very happy to have my daughter. I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. In the midst of my turmoil, she was MY blessing. Unfortunately, raising her on my own was not my choice. She is not a “poor family planning choice()”. I am saddened at your choice of words… that I may have taken the wrong way. She is being raised in a very loving home, trust me. Unfortunately, there are some children who are raised in two parent households where they see their parents arguing everyday. I am glad my daughter will not be privy to that.
No, your comments do not trouble me. The fact that you focused in on my being a single mother lets me know you possibly missed out on my weight loss story. I hope all woman can continually better themselves through exercise and healthy living. It took me a while to understand just how important that was to my well-being.
And to my daughter…I love you all the more. I hope you will always know that!
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Erika,
You have inspired me to work out TODAY. Our stories are so similar that it’s eery, and these days (my daughter is 4 months) it seems all I can do is stay awake long enough for bottle, bath, story and song. But, I know how much better I feel and how much better a mom I am when I take the time to run a few miles or spend an hour on the yoga mat. Thank you for reminding me.
You look beautiful but what’s even more beautiful to me is the warmth and peace I read in your words. Congratulations on your achievements.
Also, I don’t know if you do yoga, but it is a nice nighttime alternative because you can do it once the baby’s in bed. I like Bikram’s series (I don’t do it in a heated room at home–I’ll wear winter workout gear though) and downloaded the audio to the class from iTunes. It’s wonderful!
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Erika, thank you for having the courage to tell your story…you’re not alone in this journey. My thoughts and best wishes are with you…stay strong and keep running!
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Thanks Embee and Michele!
I have been trying to be better about doing Yoga. I definitely feel better when I do it. Thank you for your suggestion. I will keep you posted on how it goes!
Thank you for taking the time to write me a message. I hope you both are doing well. I will be thinking of ya’ll while I am at the gym tomorrow.
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Erika, I’m sorry you’ve gone through such tragedy. I’m glad you had a child, so you could love each other and be there for each other. I wish you and your daughter lots of happiness. I have a feeling the right man will show up when you least expect him. I wish you the best!
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You are beautiful as is. Run for health, run for clarity, run because you can. You are showing your daughter how to stay healthy and be active by taking time to run when you can and need to. Ride a bike, take a hike, be outside. Savor each and every day. That is how you can honor yourself and those you lost.
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